Mariners playoff roster announced

Yeah, that’s right.

Your Mariners are in the playoffs. Except, these particular Mariners aren’t your Mariners anymore.

Ten teams made the postseason, starting today. 25 former Mariners are on the 40-man rosters of those clubs, and this is one hell of a playoff team. Check it out…

New York Yankees

James Paxton – The cream of the crop in last offseason’s dump-and-run so-called step-back-rebuild, Big Maple has racked up a 15-6 record in pinstripes and get this… he won ten consecutive starts to close out the regular season. We got Dom Thompson-Williams, Justus Sheffield and Erik Swanson. Guess we’ll see how that works out. But yeah, that’s a stepback.

Corey Gearrin – Dude’s still wearing his M’s cap in his profile pic. Nice, considering he’s fresh off getting waived by our M’s and picked up by the Yankees like hey ma, look what I found lying on the sidewalk, because what, the M’s have a glut of great pitching and the Yankees were really hurting with the best record in the game? Maybe last laughs are best laughs. Look who’s sitting in the bullpen on Friday night’s Game 1 against the Twins.

Mike Ford – Remember that time in Spring Training a couple years ago when you were like, if they’d just get rid of that Ford guy and put Vogey in there full time… and they did? Nah of course you don’t. We can barely remember it either. But sure enough on March 24, 2018, the M’s said here Yankees, we took him from you earlier and now we don’t want him anymore, so you need to take him back. And he’s batting .259 and he’s in the playoffs with the Yankees. And much as we love Vogey… he’s not.

Edwin Encarnacion – Did you ever grasp what the parrot thing was about? Neither did we. This guy wasn’t supposed to last as long as he did, 2.5 months, and we all knew he was leaving. After Jerry’s sleepless nights and deep meaningul negotiation, the Yanks sent us a dude called Juan Then, who may generate as many name puns at Yusei “Yes I Say No” Kikuchi.

J.A. Happ – He’s traveled a bit, including getting sent off twice by the Blue Jays (how good can a guy be if you take Saunders in return?) but he’s posted twelve wins this season and… and… we seem to keep saying this, but he’s a New York Freaking Yankee.

Cameron Maybin – Suddenly he’s batting 40 points higher (.286) than he did in Seattle, and 30 higher than his career average. Maybe just maybe… it’s the ultimate rush in sports, being a New York Freaking Yankee.

 

Houston Astros

Wade Miley – We can put all those Miley vs Smyly jokes in the closet. Wade put up a 14-6 record this year and he’s only Houston’s third best pitcher. Any idea who’ll win the World Series?

 

Minnesota Twins

Ian Miller – Again with the M’s hat in the profile pic. Which is strange as he never played a major league game in Seattle. And he might not make the playoff roster, but at least he’s sniffing the postseason.

Nelson Cruz – Leaving broken hearts and a Texas-size namesake wiener* monument to gluttony in his wake, Nellie’s landed — for this season at least — in the Twin Cities where his 41 homers and .311 average helped send the Twins up against the Yanks in the Division Series.
*Seriously, when the M’s played at the Rangers the Root Sports camera would always find a rather large Texan eating The Boomstick in the stands. Lord.

 

Oakland A’s

Nobody. But they’ve got a guy named Skye Bolt, which is saying something.*

*Late correction, spotted by alert reader Steve From Spokane:
Bob Melvin – of course, “since the managers dress up like players.” And every playoff team needs a manager.

 

Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Emilio Pagan – No, it does not rhyme with Reagan. It does however rhyme with “begone,” which is what he says to batters. He strikes out over 12, and walks less than two, per nine innings. Dude’s a keeper. Bummer we didn’t.

Guillermo Heredia – His average (now .225) has dropped every season he’s played in the majors. For once we can guess this was a good trade, Guillermo and Zunino for Jake Fraley and Mallex Smith. Yeah, we’ll take ’em.

Mike Zunino – Good God, the years we waited for him to swing the bat like a major leaguer. The times we heard Dave Sims declare that the time down in Tacoma had made him a new man. The stories we tolerated from coaches promising us we needed his defense… and he’s batting .165 in Tampa. And he’s in the playoffs. It’s a strange world.

Late addition – Ji-Man Choi – It’s been ten-plus years since he came over from Korea as a free agent and got hidden away in the minor leagues for seven seasons before we cut him. He finally saw action in the majors in 2016 and now sits on the D-Rays’ playoff roster after stints with the Orioles, Angels, Yankees, and Brewers (who then traded him to TB for, ahem, Brad Miller). If you’re scoring at home, that’s six organizations in four years. A hell of a lot of traveling and a ton of perseverance.

 

St. Louis Cardinals

Dominic Leone – Remember when we got Trumbo for a half a season? Dom went to Arizona in that trade. Now he sports a 5.53 ERA and a 1.50 WHIP for the Central Division champs. We can’t really regret losing him. Sorry Dude.

Tyler O’Neill – This is the guy who set all the trolls on Jerry DiPoto, having the gall to trade our shining prospect (3rd round, 2013) for Marco Gonzales. Screw the trolls. And by the way try searching the name Tyler on baseball-reference. 63 guys named Tyler. All but three, it’s their first or middle name. And the vast majority of those guys are playing right now. What is it with that name?

 

Atlanta Braves

Anthony Swarzak – All those promising relievers at the beginning of this season just got ping-ping-pinged away. They were gone by the time Gearrin got waived. Evidently Jerry didn’t think he’d stepped back enough. Or maybe Swarzak was excess baggage from the trade that brought us Kelenic and Dunn for Cano and Diaz. Either way, Swarzak’s having the kind of season with the Braves where the manager sends him to the pen before the game and is like “Sit. Stay. I really hope we don’t need you…”

 

Los Angeles Dodgers

Chris Taylor – That leadoff homer in World Series Game One back in 2017 made the “butt crack bar stools” at the Brown Lantern in Anacortes famous. Or at least famous with anyone who reads this blog and has been to the Brown… which is only for sure one person known to us here at Playin’ in the Dirt. It also set Taylor on track to be the unanimous choice as our Ex-Mariner of the Year… only to be usurped by the gregarious and joyful face of Munenori Kawasaki. I wonder where that guy is now… seriously click this link.

 

Milwaukee Brewers / Seattle Pilots

Eric Thames – We here in SeaTown messed with Eric’s head so bad in his brief 2012 stint here, that he had to leave the country for five freaking seasons. Only to return in 2017 with the Brewers, where in 2019 he’s batting .247 with 25 homers in 149 game appearances. You gotta love comeback stories like this. Plus, a guy who played in Seattle AND Milwaukee is like, well, like our old Pilots.

Ben Gamel – The hair… We got Domingo Santana, which is a trade that in the long run could go either way, and we kinda like Domingo, but dude. The hair. We miss the hair.

David Freitas – OK so the guy’s struggling with a .067 average and he clearly won’t be on the playoff roster. But do not miss this link right here. Anyone whose kid has an Uncle Vogey, and whose Uncle Vogey uses the kid’s favorite song as his walkup music, even if the song is Baby Shark… well that man is some kinda class. Best of luck David Freitas.

 

Washington Nationals

Fernando Rodney – Holy Eleventh Team in Nineteen Seasons, Batman! Rodney is 42, and carries a 0-5 record on just 33IP this season. But he’s found a way to be in the right place at the right time. Which could be a 2020 stint with the Ross Eversoles if this game keeps its grip on him.

Roenis Elias – When he was on, he was on. When he wasn’t… we’ve now sent him off twice, once to the Red Sox and now to the Nationals. We got a guy named Guilbeau. Rhymes with, well, y’know what it rhymes with.

Hunter Strickland – Came in looking like the M’s closer, just because he was the only guy with career saves in double figures. (He had 19, in five seasons with the Giants.) Now he’s a footnote, the guy who went with Elias for Guilbeau. Sheesh.