First in a series: vote now!
If you’re not into Sixties folk/protest memes, try this before reading:
Wouldn’t you know. Here in Seattle, we just looked around, they were gone. And now they’re back. Back on the diamond. In another country.
In their bids to succeed Fernando Rodney and his 2019 World Series ring as 2020’s greatest ex-Mariner, four of our old favorites have worked their way into contention. Please attempt to sing along in Dion Marucci’s voice and melody:
Anybody here seen Abraham Almonte? Can you tell me where he’s gone to? Five other teams have had him since we dealt him for Denorfia… I just turned around, and he’s batting .088 and leading off for the Toros del Este in the Dominican League playoffs.
Anybody here seen good ol’ Leonys Martín? Did you tell me now he’s a Chiba Lotte Marine? He jacked two dozen dongs this year, a long long way from Cleveland, but you can bet he’s glad to get outta Cleveland where he almost died?
Anybody here seen our pal Juan Nicasio, since he served up that tater to Tatis? Can you tell me why it’s wrong to swing away on 3-0? The biggest controversy of MLB’s short season… never would have happened if he hadn’t loaded the bases in the first place. And man, he looked around, and that ball was gone.
“…pitchers are huge babies who masquerade that with toxic masculinity…” Who ever heard of such a thing?
Don’t you love the passion that they play with? Just look how they try to bring some joy and grin through releases and trades and waivers, they just keep on going, like some day, some way, they’ll hit the big leagues again…
Anybody here seen my old friend Robi Cano? Can you tell me he’s not juicing again? They told me Robi was over the hill, with Abraham, Martín, and Juan, but he swatted two dingers in his return to the Dominican League, and that mighta been the roids talking, who knows…
Who’s your favorite? Abraham, Martín, or Juan? Or Robi? Let your voice be heard in comments below.
Next bracket: the rest of the Dominican League, plus some worldwide surprises.
Hey Bill! Love it! Anything baseball, even when it reminds me of how disappointing the Mariners have played for nearly 2 decades.
Did you see they’re in first place this season? 🙂
Well…..let’s see how a scotch addled brain can do without looking up stats or any other memory jogging interweb pages.
First off, Juan is/was a relief pitcher not named Eddie G. or The Sherriff. He didn’t have a Japanese fork ball of doom and he wasn’t a Putz. And, as far as I know, he never was a bartender. So he’s not on my radar for a vote.
I recall Honest Abe as an interesting player with potential but not much for me to remember. He had a quick batch of success in Seattle then soured, did the same once or twice with other teams, then disappeared.
Robi. Hmmm. After starring for the Evil Empire why would anyone sign with that little ol’ team up there in Warshington (the state dammit)? Don’t they get about 10K fans per game? Must be the $$$ because there’s no rings in sight. Big fish in a small pond as they say. Yeah, no.
Which leaves us Martin. Ahh Leonys, with your Cora-like innocence. The exuberance of a high school cheerleader and the high-pitched voice to match. He wasn’t the best outfielder on the team but how can you not root for him for his sleeveful of emotions and puppy-like eagerness. He made baseballing in Seattle fun.
Strong thoughtful effort there Dave. Deep analysis and I’d add Leonys is clearly the sentimental favorite here since Cleveland damn near killed him. Did you save some brain for the rest of the brackets?